The Motorhead
by DeltaofNeptune
Summary: She had the menthol placed with ease in between her fingertips and she shrugged, the minteen smoke wafting in between her lips. "I don't much in relationships right now,"she says softly,"but I'm really just waiting for someone to change that."
1. A Notice

**HEYYY**

 **uhm**

 **before you read**

 **hi**

 **its been a long time since I've used this site and if anyone looks at what I've been doing; they'll realize that I have a similar story int his fandom and of this pairing.**

 **(I am working on that)**

 **Anywho,**

 **about this piece of fiction you're about to read**

 **I wrote this during the Christmas/Summer of my last year.**

 **And since I have abandoned it**

 **If this bothers you please leave**

 **I am posting this; basically for my sake**

 **because I want to have a piece for myself to look back at and for others to see**

 **I have changed a bit when it comes to writing**

 **and also**

 **because it'd be a waste sitting in my flash drive**

 **so please**

 **enjoy it for what it is**

 **and thank you so much**

 **-A Magical Goodbye**


	2. In Love With the Past

Chapter 1: In Love With the Past

Sometimes I start thinking about the good old days. A lot actually.

When something isn't in my hands, when I sit down with nothing and have no soul to sate my lonesomeness; I'm forced to think about the old days.

It was so easy for all of us to go to war.

The world needed us and we didn't have any commitments. There were no partners, no children, no work, no family; we only had ourselves. We only had youth and the world. And whenever we did feel lonely, we would fall in love with the road and wherever the adventure took us.

After all of the excitement had tapered and flattened to a calm buzz, it was about a decade before the dust settled and our lives had become normal and whole again. Everyone, and _everyone_ , soon settled for a life that rotated in a slow, familiar and easy tedium. Everyone settled down and began to assume their natural roles in society. Everyone mellowed out and returned to civilization; they returned to the places that laid great heroes like them to rest.

I don't regret a single thing that I did then. Don't have a single regret for any great travesties that I have committed. I plead guilty, but I am not _guilty_.

There has never been a normal place for me in the world. My role has always been that of the outcast.

I can't complain, not anymore, it's not all that bad.

I have friends now. Friends that I didn't have before. I have a lot more _commitments_ than I did years before. Yet, I am alone yet again.

Not completely this time. I may be alone again.

But I am content.

I suffered in my loneliness before. I can laugh about it more now. I am happier. But I'm still going through the motions. There are _ancient_ parts of me that refuse to ever leave me be, old ways of the mind that continue to _continue_ even with the wear of time eroding upon them.

I wake up early, like a _functional_ unit of society. I get ready, shower and I eat breakfast like an even more stand-up citizen.

Someone should've told me to stop.

Every time I try to act like a functional unit of society it always backfires.

My discipline is tested because of call that I get from GUN as early as I wake up.

"Shadow. You have another holiday. Effective now, you are required to report to GUN in another week. You have reached the maximum threshold of missions for a month. Please rest."

 _Oh wow._ _Thanks for being so concerned about the wellbeing of an immortal and invincible android life-form. Thank you for being so altruistic and for telling the killing machine to take a break._

You're confused maybe?

Periodically over the course of months, Sonic has been pestering me about hanging out with him.

What's the problem with this?

It's not a problem with Faker, quite the contrary.

It's just when you hang out with Sonic you're also hanging out with his friends.

There's no one-on-one with the guy. There's someone else that he brings along with him. If you talk with Sonic you talk with the brigade.

There's another layer that is put onto it as well.

Sonic had organized a party for a guest coming to visit us.

 _Oh a new person to embarrass myself in front of,_ says me, in all the suppressed glee I could muster.

That would be me _anyway_ if Faker wasn't so obnoxiously insistent on setting me up with this mystery person.

Well… she's not exactly a mystery person. That would be a lie. A real lie through and through.

GUN requires me to learn about identities of leaders, terrorists and other notable threats to Mobius that surround or are directly connected to Mobius in any way.

I know anything _anybody_ would know about _Princess Blaze_.

I know she's the Princess of Sol and one of the last living pyrotechnics in her dimension. I know that she is the alternative and the natural equivalent to Sonic on almost every par. I know that her skills in fighting are a mistake to be meddled with and that she has the mind of a military general on her shoulders:

I don't know her personally. Everything I know about her I acquired intravenously through field study and case files. She is an unknown to me.

Short of maybe a "good luck" or perhaps a gaze across the room, we've both never _ever_ interacted with the other.

When Sonic describes her to me the first time, there's this twinkle in his eye that I haven't seen for years. He comes strangely alive.

He tells me she is someone that I would relate to immediately. She was an old soul, strangely mature and poised for someone her age. She has an eloquence and an intelligence that a person of only stature could acquire. She is a person that I would bond to immediately.

Sonic is glowing at this point, raving about her, and I just sigh.

I have to hold my suspension of disbelief.

I am tired of people trying to set me up. Playing matchmaker for me began to wear down on my faith for any real relationships.

I had some. When I did, I fell fast and I fell hard. There isn't any slow with me and love. One day I'm trying to remember your name and then one day I can't bear to _live_ without you. Some people might call that obsessive, maybe it is, but if anything it's ironic. There is no feeling like it. There was no other power in this world that made me ever want to vulnerable in that way. I was so untrusting and trusting with the people I loved at the same time; until it came to be. Love always had a unique way of making me its emotional ragdoll.

Love is a feeling that I love to love.

People trying to force love makes nobody happy.

It just makes me _pissy_.

Very little things make the ultimate lifeform _pissy_.

My phone screams in my pocket and I have to help myself from yelping in terror.

 _Shit, it's Rouge._ I'm scrambling to pick it up, _shit, shit, shit, shit._

"Shadow speaking."

"You got that word from GUN?"

"Yes," I sigh, "unfortunately."

"I see," I can almost envision the grin that slides across her face, "so you _are_ going to that party."

"Unfortunately," I grimace.

"Shadow I hope you're not pouting. It's about time that you stuck your face in the sun. What was the last time you actually went out?"

"About a week ago."

"Shadow…coming to my house to drop something off is not sticking your face out in the sun. I mean contact with another living thing, honey. You're becoming a damn hermit."

"That's a bad thing?" I ask nonchalantly.

"Shadow don't be cute."

"I get my shit done," I say.

"Do you know you can get your shit done and have a social life?"

I pause, "What is this strange concept you speak of?"

"Shadow you're human, you need that to survive you fucking need that in order to be a real humans Shads."

"I'm not a real human."

"We've already had this talk asshat."

There was something about Rouge's personality that perfectly neutralized mine in its own unique way. With that quip precise bluntness that came with a brassy woman of her kind.

"Jesus, you're the same Shadow that I knew 10 years ago."

"You know, I _look_ the same too."

"Don't rub it in," she whines, "you don't know what type of black magic I'd use so I could stay young forever."

"You should be happy with what you have Rouge."

"I know Shadow," she says knowingly, "I know."

I look at the time and I panic. I need to be there right now. And I quickly put her on my ear while working with my hands.

"Hey Rouge, tell me about your week," I say quickly.

She knows the drill, and she begins her chirping of her last week's nothings. I start closing down my apartment with Rouge's chatter in my ear: the party's happenings, her last sexcapades. It doesn't matter, I listen quietly for those short 7 minutes.

"Hey Rouge," I close and lock my door, "I have to go. Faker's house is calling me."

"Dawes. You guys are growing such a beautiful and close friendship."

"Please, that just made me throw up in my mouth a little bit."

"You still can't take a joke," she laughs, "go off and see your boyfriend."

"Whatever satiates your wicked fantasies Rouge."


	3. Button-Up Blouse

Chapter 2: Button Up Blouse

The few times I've been to Sonic's house, I still haven't figured out why he wanted the damned thing.  
 _Sonic_ was the one that went on an adventure around the world. _Sonic_ was the one that never seemed to stay one place. He just couldn't sit still. He was a man who was a victim to a unique calling to himself: that of which beckoned him to _always_ move forward. He sacrificed everything because of that. He lost friends, he lost jobs, he lost respect, he lost honor and he even lost the love of his life because of that unwavering contract. He was the only crazy one who just couldn't settle down.  
What is he doing with a house like this?  
And why the hell in suburbia? Why not in some secluded pasture out in the middle of nowhere? His crazy parties always stirred up pandemonium in his slow suburban neighborhood.

Contrary to popular belief it isn't the suburbia that bothered me. It was the people.

Sonic lived with people who were both smart enough and stupid enough to think and not think for themselves. They're people who are stupid enough to both elevate me and fear me without a cohesive thought. So every time I might even think about this place, without fail, there's a shiver that runs along all of their spines.

"Oh god," they must think, "what if the Ultimate life-form eats my poor and innocent inbred poodle?!" "Oh god," they must think, "He's a threat to our innocent children!" "Oh god," they chatter, "what is he wrecks the neighborhood?" "Oh god," they must say while greasing their pitchforks, "let's skin him alive!"

I just have the best fans don't I?

I'm one of the first people to arrive.

I flurry into his garage and enter his house through the garage entrance and I slither myself into his kitchen after closing the door behind me.

"Shadow?" Sonic calls from inside his kitchen.

I don't reply.

I hear someone gasp.

"Oh my god you're kidding me," the voice says, "you actually got Shadow out of his cave?!"

I freeze. I know whose voice that is.

Before I can collect myself, I'm consumed in a suffocating bear hug.

"Shade stop, please," I croak, "you're choking me."

"Shadow I haven't heard a wink from you for months, you _deserve_ this."

Maybe her arms were strong enough to collapse my chest cavity. Perhaps her hold around me was enough to snap my ribs. I think that maybe in my vivid imagination, the trauma and proceeding blood loss gave me an elated feeling, or an untraceable excitement because now was laughing uncontrollably in giddy and sporadic giggles. Perhaps I didn't know how much until she finally let me go. When she finally did let me go I felt all the blood rush back into my elbows and legs. I could barely stand up all the way.

She smooths out her pants and calms quiets her giggles. "Good thing you showed up," Shade sighs, "Sonic doesn't know even remotely how to use an oven."

Sonic sticks out his tongue and continues to chop something of some sort.

Her face lights up and her hands clasp together, "Please tell me somewhere inside your infinite knowledge you know how to operate an oven."

"Please, Procurator Shade. I live alone. I know how to cook."

She laughs with a hand on her hip and a shrug, "Please transfer that practicality to Sonic over here."

Sonic pokes his head out of the kitchen, "Sonic is offended by what you just said."

I take off my jacket and roll up my sleeves, "While we're talking about him, I hope that Sonic knows talking about himself in the third person is highly socially unacceptable."

"I hope captain sarcasm knows that his commentary is sometimes not appreciated."

I smirk and Shade bites her laugh.

"Just start the oven ultimate douchebag," Sonic sighs.

We start cooking lunch in silence and for the longest time we just don't say anything to each other. It's how close we've become in the past few years. We didn't necessarily need to talk to each other. The silence doesn't make us uncomfortable.

When Shade finally closes the oven and the plates are decorated, we sit together and eat.

For the first time in about an hour somebody speaks:

"Shade you _live_ with Knuckles right?" Sonic asks.

"Don't we all know this?"

I chuckle.

Sonic eats for a moment, "How is Knuckles doing?"

I almost dropped my fork.

"He's drawn back lately. He hasn't said anything to me at all. I think he's avoiding me."

Shade must have thought the same thing because when I turned to her eyes darted from me and then Sonic and then back at me with a frantic and panicked glare in her eyes.

"You aren't aware?" I deadpanned.

"Well uhm no Shadow," he says, "that's why I asked."

Shade and I had a close and momentary inquiry to see who would volunteer to drop the bomb on him.

"Sonic," Shade started.

"I'm here."

"I don't know if I should be telling you this. But if he hasn't told you then…then I will."

"Alright."

Shade puts down her silverware and sighs:

"You know Julie-Su right?"

Sonic scoffs, offended by the audacity of such a question, "Are you kidding? I've known her for decades."

Shade seemed to hesitate with what she had to say before she killed any thought of a way to say it mildly:

"They finalized their divorce about a month ago."

The words physically enter Sonic as he registers what has just been said. He holds his head in his hands.

"Holy cow…"

"Yea..," Shade says quietly.

He doesn't believe it, "Is Knuckles really okay?"

"Sonic I don't know."

I am silent.

"Does he _seem_ okay?"

"We don't really talk all that much. Not as much anymore. Ever since this happened he's drawn in deeper into himself. I can't exactly find a way to talk about this to him."

"Jeez,"Sonic mutters, "Julie-Su and Knuckles had been together for so long. They'd been together since we were tiny kids man. I thought they would be together. No matter what…but…"

"To be fair, twelve years isn't a half bad run," I say.

"This is just so unbelieveable,"Sonic is still trying to recover.

"I wonder what will happen to me," Shade says half-mindedly.

"Aw nuts, are you really going to be okay?"

"I mean I don't know with how he's acting right now. He's withdrawing from the world and I can't get through to him."

There was a strange glint in Sonic's eyes. A glimmer that appeared whenever he was about to say something unforgivably stupid.

"Sonic don't you dare," I say under my breath.

"No let him," Shade interjects, "he can ask whatever wishes."

Sonic shrugs, "I don't know what it is…. But something tells me maybe Julie-Su got kinda messed up over you living with him?"

 _I felt an intense urge infect me, an insatiable urge to slap him across the face._

"Perhaps," Shade concurs, "it wasn't as if it was something that we never discussed."

"Really?"

"There was a point in time that I offered to get a separate apartment. I had everything planned down to the finest point. I had a job, I had the money saved up to make the move happen, and with how I had it I would only have to make one phone call and I was out in a matter of hours."

"So what happened?"

"I don't know what happened…he just _stopped_ me."

Sonic seemed genuinely surprised.

"Did he have a problem with you leaving?" I ask.

"No, he wasn't vehemently reacting to the thought of me leaving. He probably thought the same thing that Sonic did. Julie-Su might not have been happy with me being there. But at the same time he wasn't just letting me go.

When I did tell him I was leaving, he stopped, he didn't speak to me for the rest of the day… And then the next morning we talked and he just said, 'Shade you don't need to leave if you don't want to leave. I've got the room and the space. Think about it okay?' And so I did. I haven't thought about leaving since then."

"Didn't Julie-Su say anything about it?"

"She did actually. It was that night too. She wanted me to stay too; I'm not too sure why," Shade shrugs, "It's actually funny what she did say to me. She told me that Knuckles would be pretty lonely and miserable without me there."

"That _is_ funny," I shake my head.

"You guys are fine right? You're still okay with her?" Sonic asks

"I have no ill will of her," Shade says, "Julie-Su is too good of a woman for me to hate her whatsoever." Shade thinks for a moment. "I'm just really concerned with how Knuckles is dealing with this."

"He'll be fine. I _know_ it," I say.

"How do you know?" Sonic asks.

"Intuition."

Sonic wasn't too convinced but thankfully he returned to his food.

"I'll actually be disappointed in Knuckles if he doesn't move on and become stronger. Knuckles is one of the most persistent and strong fuckers I've ever met. He's always moved on no matter what, and I know he will do it this time. If he doesn't my faith will be completely misguided."

Shade seems amused by that, her face is bewitched by a bemused grin, "I couldn't agree more."

Sonic and Shade moved on to another topic. I thought about what has just been said.

There was an understanding between Knuckles and I, an understanding that was ineffable and profound. We were similar in many ways, and for much of the same reasons. We were both men hardened by loss. Both of our wills were made stronger by guarding things and protecting things that were constantly tottering on the tightrope of _here_ and _nevermore_. Knuckles out of everyone I'd met in the last few years I understood completely with less than a nod or a smile. We just clicked.

Knuckles was the man that everyone should be. Or at least the man that everyone should try to be. He's at least the man that I would like to be; that, singularly, is how much I respect him.

I wondered how much more of his happiness life could take more of. Life took away one of the only people that he could trust and that he loved. No person in the world could fill that space because no woman was that much to him. He was only apathetic and he gazed upon a world that meant nothing to him. He was completely alone, no matter who was there, if there was anyone there. Now that he was walking around with half of his being taken out of him…What else could fate take? I didn't want to know the answer.

"Hey Shadow, has Sonic told you about Blaze yet?"

My fist clenched as I felt a frustrated headache coming, "Yes…he has."

She sensed my distaste with the name already, "Hold on Shadow, I'm not about to beat you over the head with it…don't worry."

"Can we not? This is just," I pause, "this is just pissing me off."

"No buddy slow down just hear us out…"

"We know Shadow, be pissed off," Shade says, "but we genuinely think that this woman would be really good for you to know." Shade says, "Even if you only end up as friends."

"Do you think I'm suitable for even _that_ right now?" I ask incredulously.

"Look I've known her for years, you guys would get each other so quick you don't even get it," Sonic says, "you are literally the same people."

"Wouldn't that just make me hate her guts?"

"I don't know. You'll just have to find out," Shade says.

I'm not convinced.

"Shadow," Sonic grins lazily, "take a chance. You don't have forever!"

"I do."

"Shadow that's not the point," Shade says, "and even if you do. You might just have forever with only _yourself_ if you're not careful."

I laugh at that, "Okay Shade. After you finally croak."

Shade rolls her eyes when Sonic finds that absolutely hilarious and guffaws.

"I hope you're ready when that party comes around. That little outfit might not cut it," Sonic whimpers recovering from his sides splitting.

I was caught off guard, and I looked down, "Wait what do you mean?"

"Yea what _do_ you mean?" Shade asked.

Sonic hangs himself on the back of his chair lazily with a smile creeping on his face. "Knowing Blaze she's going to pull out all the stops," Sonic smirks, "she's got to dress the part."

I sighed, "Is she the goddamn queen of England? I don't have one lonely petticoat to fluff Ethan."

"Blaze is a queen. Forget princess," there's that same twinkle in his eye, "she'll be the most magnificent thing that you have ever seen."

"Am I preparing to meet Circe?"

"If it isn't love at first sight then she'll definitely have you chasing her tail. Trust me, sex appeal is one thing, but she's going to be the most beautiful woman that you have ever seen."

Shade sat upright in her chair and she had the most quizzical expression on her face.

"There's something you're not telling us is there?" Shade tapped one solitary nail on her temple, "It sounds like _you're_ the one in love with _her_."

"I've thought about it," he shrugs, "but you know… I fail at romance. We never quite worked out that way. We just don't fit together right."

"That's a very Blue Blur thing to say," I mutter.

"Well that's funny because he's right here," Shade says

I push my chair away from the table with my foot, and I stand up. "I hope my little rags will be enough to entertain our little primadonna."

I walk away to load my plate into the sink.

"Please," Shade winks at Sonic, "alcohol will take care of everything."

I just shake my head as I lean on the counter. And unlike any time before, I take the time to see what we all look like.

Sonic was always the same. He was the same wholesome and faintly handsome guy that he's always been. Truthfully, it's not him that's truly attractive because he's a person whose personality makes up for all of his shortcomings. His very positive and bright personality that infects you even when you don't faintly know him. His smile that makes him seem completely and utterly devoted to you, _you_ that could be a genocidal maniac. It's the attitude and positivity that courses through his veins that both makes you love him and hate him intensely at the same time.

That's why he could wear a button up shirt with khaki slacks and slip right through. He didn't have to make himself up. He didn't have to bother with any of that.

Shade on the other hand. Different story entirely.

Surrounded by the plain and classical beauty of girls like Amy and Sally, she reminded me of Rouge. She was a sensual spirit that had all the classical beauty that Rouge lacked and then even more. Ameena was a smoldering and sultry beauty hidden away with just the right amount of class to make any man _fight_ to wrap himself around her finger. People were conjured, bewitched by her wits and her charm. And males, _oh god_ , were just awaiting victims to be entranced by her feminine mystery.

I have dispensed this much to her, on multiple occasions. It's funny because she doesn't know this for herself, that she's a real fucking catch. And when I look at her now, made up, I'm assaulted by it.

You see it rarely. But when Shade _does_ decide to beat her face and put big girl shoes on it's a real sight for sore eyes.

She was dressed in black. All black, like she always was. She dressed in slim and fitting clothes that fit her lean and cut figure. In an almost immodest but modest display of flesh whenever she stretched a certain way you could see a slim part of her developed torso between her pants and her shirt. The same red plum on her lips was the same of her heels sitting idly by next to the door. Her gold bangles, her rings and her hoops seemed to sway and with turgid and swelling tides of her hair that licked her shoulders and cascaded down her back in a terracotta waterfall.

Like I said.

I'm just going to silently drink my water over here, thank you very much.

The room got suddenly silent, and it seemed to focus and zero in right on me. I felt so suddenly microscopic.

"Shadow is there something bothering you?"

I don't say anything, I merely silently return to my cup of water and enjoy a moment of silence.

"You look beautiful."

Sonic doesn't even blink, Shade almost chokes on her drink.

"W-What?"

"You look beautiful."

Shade sighs and hangs her head in embarrassment, "God Shadow. You just live to make me feel…"

"What?"

Shade seemed to struggle for a moment, "How?"

I was confused.

"How is it so easy for you to say that?"

I shake my head and shrug, "I'm a blunt person."

"No… well…"

"Look Shade, I don't think anything should be hard to say if it's the truth."

Shade just sighed and shook her head.

"Goddamn Shadow."

"What?"

"You just try _not_ to be the sweetest person ever."

I laugh, "No comment."

Sonic has to get up, as the host, he has to lead the charge once again.

"I don't know about you. But I'm about to get everything ready… Those people will break down my door any minute."

I'm not prepared for any of that. Let alone Blaze.


End file.
